After the fourth continuous day of chronic tiredness and a crippling headache, well, not exactly a headache but more like pressure and pain in the back of my head, I succumbed and called the midwife. She insisted that I went straight to triage at the delivery suite at the hospital. I burst into tears.
I didn't want to go to hospital. I still don't. I can't bear the thought of being admitted, unless it's to have the babies and it's far too soon for that. I hate wards and most of all I don't want to be away from my family.
And then the sensible side takes over from the emotional side and tell myself the one reason that I should be checked over. It's for the babies.
The midwife told me to take two painkillers and if I still wasn't feeling better I could go and see her at the surgery this morning. I took the painkillers, laid down for most of the day and still there was no improvement so I called her back. She was reluctant to see me herself, saying that I needed more thorough checking over and that I really should go to the hospital. I cried again and offered that if I could just see her for the checks she could do, then if she was still concerned or found anything at all indicating I needed to be seen there then I would go. She said I could stop by the surgery at any time before midday to see her.
I am so frustrated to have got so far and now seem to be falling at the very last stage. I haven't had very much to worry about or be concerned about. My health has for the most part been pretty good, apart from the old iron issues. It would be such a shame for things to go pear-shaped now.
So this morning I am bracing myself. I am getting ready to go to the surgery to see my midwife yet I know I'm going to be sent on to the hospital. I'll be very surprised if at this stage they don't want to rule out things such as pre-eclampsia (which I don't think it is) or check on my iron (which I do think is the culprit). I just hope I am not admitted. Then again, if I am, I am. Logic tells me I need to do what is best for the babies and for my health. Unfortunately, logic is fighting a battle with hormones and the hormones seem to be winning.
I'll try to keep you updated through the Larger Family Life Facebook page and Twitter (which will be my main source of updating if I am admitted and when I go in to have the babies. Have you joined up yet?).
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