Why I get up at 5am

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I have written before about how I strongly recommend waking up earlier than everybody else when you have a family to look after.  I recommend it even more so after the events of this week.

I have been waking up at 5am for almost four years now.  That is every single day, with weekends included.  I wasn't always an early riser and it took some training to get used to doing it but I quickly realised that I far preferred the benefits that it brought.

Getting up before everybody else gives me the opportunity to "get my head straight".  I can prepare myself, physically and mentally, for the day ahead.  I can breakfast and have a coffee or two in peace.  I can get the chores started and get ahead of my work and I can get myself dressed and ready before the small people start demanding my time and attention.  I can deal with my online banking, my emails and I can write up a blog post or two.  I like having the quiet time before the busyness of the day begins.

If I can get myself that one hour it makes a lot of difference to my whole day.  This was brought home to me this week when I did the unthinkable and overslept.  I hardly ever oversleep and if I do it is rarely by more than ten minutes.  With a couple of babies to get up for during the night sometimes the tiredness tends to kick in.  This week it gave me a real good kicking and I ended up oversleeping not once but twice.  Furthermore,  it wasn't by minutes but by over an hour each time!

By the time I awoke, the children were already awake and demanding my attention.  The chores that would normally be done and out of the way were left so that I could deal with the kids.  I hadn't had a coffee, hadn't had breakfast and hadn't even had time to run a brush through my hair, let alone get myself dressed and made up for the day.

As the morning passed by and I tried to play catch-up on the things I would normally have dealt with I got more and more stressed and short-tempered.  Before I knew it lunch time had arrived and I still hadn't caught up on everything.  I hadn't eaten all morning, not having had the chance to eat breakfast after all.  The laundry was behind, schooling started later and I was trying frantically to prepare materials for lessons that I didn't get the chance to do already.  The hoovering and dusting wasn't done and every crumb on the carpet screamed at me.  The result?  I was rushing around, maligning myself and getting in a fouler mood as the day went on.

I hadn't realised until this week just how much having this time in my day means to me.  I hadn't realised until now just how much the benefits far outweighed anything that the extra few minutes of sleep could give.  I appreciate far more the things I can do, the amount I can achieve and the peace of mind it gives me when I am firm with myself and my early morning starts, and this in turn goes a long way to improving my mood for the rest of the day.  And the rest of the family appreciates that!

I often hear from other mums who say they wish they could do that, or have thought about trying it but then finish with, "... but I'm really not a morning person".

You don't have to be a morning person.

You just have to be firm with yourself for two weeks.

Don't look at me that way. 

Two weeks.

That is all.

Try getting up before anyone else in the house for just two weeks and work out your own little routine.  Make the most of having your morning coffee in peace and note how many chores you can get done in that time, without having to rush and without having the distraction of little ones under your feet.  See if it makes any difference to your mood (once you've got going and stopped cursing my name under your breath).  Try it out and see if it gives you a head start to your day, allowing you to get on top of things before they get on top of you.

I much prefer my 5am starts to a day of rushing about, getting an already stressed me into a worse mood as the day progresses.

I am willing to bet you will notice the benefits too.

Let me know if you try it.


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Eight children under 8 years old (including newborn twins)

That's what we currently have. In fact, at the moment the age range of "the younger ones" is 8, 6, 5, 4, 2, 13 months and 3 week old twins.

People often say that the older children (18, 17 and 12) must help out a lot with the younger ones. I tell them that the oldest two are no longer living at home and the answer is almost always a surprised "Oh!". If I were to look into the future ten years ago to where we are now, I think I'd have fainted! There is no way I could have imagined having so many children so close in age and when people often ask, "How do you cope?", especially with a couple of newborns thrown into the mix.  

Here are some tips on what I have found works for me:


Take some time out after having a new baby


The week after the twins were born coincided with the week that half-term was scheduled.  This meant that the kids had a week off their lessons and I had a week off from teaching them.  Whether or not it was scheduled, we'd have had that week off anyway.  It took pressure off and allowed us all to simply veg and focus on settling with the new babies.


Limit visitors


People often want to come and visit new babies and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming to be dealing with so many people coming in and out the door in a short space of time when you are busy and dealing with a gazillion things already.  Don't be afraid to say, "We need a little time and I'll let you know when we're a little more settled.".  Usually they'll understand and won't mind waiting a week or two to visit.  If they are offended, well, that's not your problem to deal with.


Let things slide for a while and accept it


Sometimes it's necessary to accept that some things need to take a back seat.  For example, I will normally hoover the house (downstairs only) twice a day.  Since having the twins it has usually only been done once a day.  At first it grated me and I felt a knot in my stomach that I wasn't "keeping up" as I normally would.  Then I realised that as long as we were a) fed and b) had clean clothes to wear, I was doing okay!  If the crumbs on the carpet really bothered me I could run the sweeper over them even if I couldn't go the whole hog and get the hoover out.  Ok, so maybe I couldn't let it go completely!


Avoid unnecessary trips out


Packing up everything and getting everyone loaded onto the family bus can take a lot of time and effort.  Slow down.  Take time to stay at home and just take things easy.  Have a family movie afternoon, sit in the garden (weather permitting!) or read together.  You can do plenty of things with your new baby in tow.  Take a week or two to rest and remove any unnecessary trips or appointments from your schedule.


Organisation


One thing that has evolved greatly as my family has grown is realising how great the need for organisation is.  Keeping the laundry rotating rather than thinking you'll deal with it later, or keeping an eye on the groceries to make sure you don't run out of milk first thing in the morning is a must.  I have to admit, for the first time in a very long time we have failed on the latter.  Thankfully Mike is home and able to make an early morning run for a milk top-up.  If he were not here I would be having a nightmare to get nine of the kids out of the house in the early morning to go and get the stuff I've run out of.  This would create havoc with my stress levels, the children wouldn't be happy at being dragged out without having breakfast and meltdowns would occur all round.  So organisation is the key.  Note to self: Take own advice - remember to check the milk in future!


Routine


As with organisation I feel better when things run to some kind of a routine.  The younger children's nap times are always around the same time each day as are meal times and bed times.  Sleeping and eating are the two most important things to keep on top of if you want to avoid children's melt downs so if you have these two worked into some kind of set schedule you've won half the battle.


Shop online


I am a big fan of doing my grocery shopping online.  I hate shopping at the best of times, whether it's for groceries, clothes or anything else.  I hate the busyness of shops, the checkout queues, the parking, carrying the bags around... the lot, so shopping online is, in my opinion, one of the greatest developments ever.  I click on what I want, pay by card and get it delivered to my door.  Lovely and stress-free.  (Well almost.  I'd be happier if the delivery driver could also unpack my shopping for me.  Yes I know, I'm so demanding and hard to please).


Use a slow cooker


Throw a selection of ingredients in in the morning.  Switch on.  Eat a yummy, hot meal in the evening.  Easy!


Have a supportive husband


Yes, I've been very lucky with this one I know.  Mike is more than halfway off his parental leave period now. It's been great having him home and spending time with him.  He's been a great help with everything, from looking after the kids to helping with the housework and laundry.  He's even been honing his cooking skills with fab results.  I am really going to miss him when he goes back to work.


There are a few more things I could probably add to this list but those are the suggestions to get started with.  What have you found works for you?


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Look at what I have here...

If you are already a Larger Family Life Facebook friend you'll have seen it already.  If not, I wouldn't want to leave you out...

 More details to come later this week!



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Interview link update

Just a quick post to let you know that BBC South East now has our interview online on their Facebook page.  Those of you not in the UK can also view it there but it's only going to be up for a short while.

Also, Ready for Ten has posted an interview with us that you can read too.



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Larger Family Life is also available on Kindle!

"Europeans too selfish to have children"

The Chief Rabbi hits the nail on the head.

Raising a large family - Wake up!

One of the questions we are often asked with regards to our family is "How do you do it?!". The "it" can refer to something specific like cooking for so many people, getting through the laundry, or even with regards to our food bill.

I've mentioned before how the change from a small family to a large one has been gradual so it's not at all like we've been thrown into a situation where we've suddenly been expected to cope with running a large family household.

All parents take part in a learning curve no matter how many children they have. If you have older children, or several children you may find that you do things differently now than you used to do. This is certainly the case for me and not just with regards to parenting but with life in general!

Over the years I've had to become more organised as my family has grown. I've listened and taken advice and ideas from people who have already "been there, done that" and I'm still learning and adapting and finding methods or tips that work for us. Every family is different and everyone is an individual. What works for one family or person may not work for another. That's the beauty of living in such a world. We're all different. It makes the world an interesting place!

One thing many people wish for is more hours in the day. There sometimes doesn't seem enough time to fit everything we need to do in. And then there's all the stuff we'd like to do too. Wouldn't it be great if life were a holiday and we could spend our days doing just what we wanted without having any of the chores? Or would it? If we lived like that what would we do when the laundry hadn't been done and we had run out of clothes, or the food had run out, or the bills hadn't been paid because we had something fun to do instead. It just wouldn't work.

I have never been an early morning person. I've never been one to sleep in till late either but mornings and me never got on. I'd need a cup of coffee before I could even begin to think about speaking, a list in my head of things to do and when you've got a couple of small children hammering your ear-drums with their instant wants and needs it wouldn't lift my mood much and would only serve to make me a grumpier mummy each morning.

A couple of years ago spring had sprung and the days had begun to get longer. Mornings were becoming lighter and brighter and disturbing my peaceful slumber as our bedroom curtains were light in colour and light in weight. I tried ignoring it to begin with but that would only make things worse. The more I tried to hide my head under the pillow or screw my eyes shut to block out the light and go back to sleep, the less sleep was prepared to come back to me and I'd get more and more uptight.

After a short while of this I decided to do something radical. I'd get up! As soon as it got light enough to wake me up I'd get straight up out of bed. It wasn't actually that painful, I found! I did this day after day after day. I wouldn't allow myself the extra five minutes but would make myself get up. The more I did it, the easier it became.

After a very short time, within a couple of weeks I think, my body clock had begun setting itself to a regular wake up time of 5am. A 5am start would have filled me with horror just a matter of weeks before but having made the decision and stuck to it I actually came to enjoy it.

A 5am start for me meant that I got time to wake up in a peaceful way, without demands placed on me by others. I had an hour or so before the children would start waking and I managed to get so much accomplished during this time. I now have an established morning routine every day of the week (yes, even weekends), and find it helps set me up for the day. Instead of the "ugh" feeling of having to get up in the mornings, I now look at it positively as I've realised the benefits of training myself and disciplining myself in this way.

An early start means that I now come downstairs and get myself dressed, made up and ready for the day. I unload the nappies put on to wash the previous night and hang them or put them in the drier. I'll fold another load of laundry hanging overnight and have it all in a basket ready for me to take upstairs and put away once the younger ones are awake. I'll then put the first of many laundry loads of the day on to wash. I'll empty the dishwasher which had run overnight, and say goodbye to Michael who leaves for work by 6. I'll then have a coffee and my breakfast in peace at the computer while I check the online banking and emails. I'll guarantee that within the first ten minutes of doing this the troops will start waking and coming downstairs, although Paddy also seems to be quite the early riser and has been up from 5.15 many mornings! He's a great help with the chores though - or at least as much as a two year old can be!

As the younger ones come down I'll prepare their breakfasts (unless it's something like French Toast, which will be put in the oven at around 5.30am so it'll be ready for them when they wake), and get on with cleaning and dusting downstairs while they eat. I'll then clean up the kitchen, clean the downstairs bathroom, get the younger ones dressed and ready and finish off by vacuuming the downstairs, the hallway and the stairs. By this time it's normally about 8am, the first load of washing has ended and is ready to be hung, the second is in the washing machine and we're ready to set up for school. Having done most of the chores I don't have anything huge hanging over me waiting to be done and I can focus on teaching.

I appreciate the vast amount of things I manage to fit in by sacrificing an hours lie in. I appreciate more having some quiet time to wake up gently with a coffee. I don't even mind the jobs I have to do as I can do them without interruption.

Is getting up before the kids something you might consider trying? If you do I'd be interested to hear what you think.