Christmas Vomit

Did you read this morning's post?

I thought I would update you.

Here we present to you...

... Christmas Vomit.


Does it look familiar in your house?  Do you sympathise?  Do your children like to help?

Please reassure me (and other parents who aren't brave enough to admit it) and send in your own Christmas Vomit photographs.  I will then share them with everyone right here on the blog.  The winning Christmas Vomit photo will win a copy of our book.  How is that for a deal?

Send your pictures to me at family@largerfamilylife.com with "Christmas Vomit" in the subject line.  You can also share them on our Facebook page, oh and do spread the word. I'm sure we aren't the only family with such great decorating helpers *cough*.

Pukes away! 


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It is time

There comes a time in every parents life when you have to deal with the things you can no longer put off.

The time I speak of comes every, single year.

It's the time to put up the Christmas decorations.

Which isn't a bad thing in itself, I admit.  I enjoy the fun of getting into the Christmas spirit.

But the kids love to "help".

"Help".

I use the term loosely.

Because their definition of "helping" is taking every decoration out of the box at once, running through the house after decorating themselves in tinsel and placing every, last bauble within the same, easily reached, 30cm area of the tree.

As we have two baby cribs set up in our living room we have no space for the Christmas tree to reside this year, so we've decided to turn the playroom into the "Christmas Room".

Neither Mike nor I have a particular knack for arranging decorations in a pretty display, so between our lack of decorative flair and the children's insistence on the aforementioned "helping", the playroom will likely resemble a vomit-like explosion at a Christmas decorations factory.

Nice image, isn't it?

Personally, I have half a mind to let Mike and the kids get on with it while I curl up with the twins and watch "The Nativity Story" - my absolute favourite thing to watch at this time of year.

But you know, I'm thinking about it and realising that it's the times like this that I'm going to look back on with such fondness.  These are the days I'm going to miss when my children are too grown up to "help" in their special, excitable way.  So these are the days I should treasure spending with them, and enjoy making these memories for all of us.

And I will.

As I'm sure you will.

But to all of us parents about to embark on this fun, memory-making part of parenthood I want to say a hearty....

"Good luck!"

I think we're going to need it.


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Eight children under 8 years old (including newborn twins)

That's what we currently have. In fact, at the moment the age range of "the younger ones" is 8, 6, 5, 4, 2, 13 months and 3 week old twins.

People often say that the older children (18, 17 and 12) must help out a lot with the younger ones. I tell them that the oldest two are no longer living at home and the answer is almost always a surprised "Oh!". If I were to look into the future ten years ago to where we are now, I think I'd have fainted! There is no way I could have imagined having so many children so close in age and when people often ask, "How do you cope?", especially with a couple of newborns thrown into the mix.  

Here are some tips on what I have found works for me:


Take some time out after having a new baby


The week after the twins were born coincided with the week that half-term was scheduled.  This meant that the kids had a week off their lessons and I had a week off from teaching them.  Whether or not it was scheduled, we'd have had that week off anyway.  It took pressure off and allowed us all to simply veg and focus on settling with the new babies.


Limit visitors


People often want to come and visit new babies and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming to be dealing with so many people coming in and out the door in a short space of time when you are busy and dealing with a gazillion things already.  Don't be afraid to say, "We need a little time and I'll let you know when we're a little more settled.".  Usually they'll understand and won't mind waiting a week or two to visit.  If they are offended, well, that's not your problem to deal with.


Let things slide for a while and accept it


Sometimes it's necessary to accept that some things need to take a back seat.  For example, I will normally hoover the house (downstairs only) twice a day.  Since having the twins it has usually only been done once a day.  At first it grated me and I felt a knot in my stomach that I wasn't "keeping up" as I normally would.  Then I realised that as long as we were a) fed and b) had clean clothes to wear, I was doing okay!  If the crumbs on the carpet really bothered me I could run the sweeper over them even if I couldn't go the whole hog and get the hoover out.  Ok, so maybe I couldn't let it go completely!


Avoid unnecessary trips out


Packing up everything and getting everyone loaded onto the family bus can take a lot of time and effort.  Slow down.  Take time to stay at home and just take things easy.  Have a family movie afternoon, sit in the garden (weather permitting!) or read together.  You can do plenty of things with your new baby in tow.  Take a week or two to rest and remove any unnecessary trips or appointments from your schedule.


Organisation


One thing that has evolved greatly as my family has grown is realising how great the need for organisation is.  Keeping the laundry rotating rather than thinking you'll deal with it later, or keeping an eye on the groceries to make sure you don't run out of milk first thing in the morning is a must.  I have to admit, for the first time in a very long time we have failed on the latter.  Thankfully Mike is home and able to make an early morning run for a milk top-up.  If he were not here I would be having a nightmare to get nine of the kids out of the house in the early morning to go and get the stuff I've run out of.  This would create havoc with my stress levels, the children wouldn't be happy at being dragged out without having breakfast and meltdowns would occur all round.  So organisation is the key.  Note to self: Take own advice - remember to check the milk in future!


Routine


As with organisation I feel better when things run to some kind of a routine.  The younger children's nap times are always around the same time each day as are meal times and bed times.  Sleeping and eating are the two most important things to keep on top of if you want to avoid children's melt downs so if you have these two worked into some kind of set schedule you've won half the battle.


Shop online


I am a big fan of doing my grocery shopping online.  I hate shopping at the best of times, whether it's for groceries, clothes or anything else.  I hate the busyness of shops, the checkout queues, the parking, carrying the bags around... the lot, so shopping online is, in my opinion, one of the greatest developments ever.  I click on what I want, pay by card and get it delivered to my door.  Lovely and stress-free.  (Well almost.  I'd be happier if the delivery driver could also unpack my shopping for me.  Yes I know, I'm so demanding and hard to please).


Use a slow cooker


Throw a selection of ingredients in in the morning.  Switch on.  Eat a yummy, hot meal in the evening.  Easy!


Have a supportive husband


Yes, I've been very lucky with this one I know.  Mike is more than halfway off his parental leave period now. It's been great having him home and spending time with him.  He's been a great help with everything, from looking after the kids to helping with the housework and laundry.  He's even been honing his cooking skills with fab results.  I am really going to miss him when he goes back to work.


There are a few more things I could probably add to this list but those are the suggestions to get started with.  What have you found works for you?


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The first two weeks with twins

It is hard to believe that the twins are two weeks old today.  In one way it seems like only yesterday that they were born yet in another way it seems like they've been part of the family forever.

No matter which way I look at it, I can't imagine a second without them.

It seems we've been blessed with two very laid back babies.  Libby, the older, darker and bigger of the two is a little more vocal with her younger and smaller sister seeming to be more placid.  Both are undemanding and settle quickly.  (Please Lord, don't let me have jinxed it by writing about it!).  

They don't seem to understand that with seven older brothers their chances of doing stuff like going out, dating and marrying are probably well off the cards so they may as well not bother day dreaming about it...

Here is one of the older brothers in question.  Joseph seemed so small.  Now he looks like an elephant baby in comparison to the twins.  He hasn't been fazed by their arrival at all.  He was curious when he first met them, leaning in for a closer look and then backing off quickly when they moved.  I think he thought they were dolls!  Now he ignores them.  We'll he is 12 months older than them and far too cool to hang out with his little sisters. 

The others battle over who the twins love most.  Paddy seems to think by making himself known to them at every waking moment he'll be in the lead...

It doesn't matter what is going on or what they are doing...

... no moment is too small to gatecrash...

... I'm enjoying cuddles...

... and so is Daddy...

All in all I'd say the first two weeks have been fun getting to know our newest family members.  I think these two would agree...

(No surprise to see Paddy in shot again!)

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Don't forget that our story on how and why we came to be parents of 11 children is available worldwide now.  Click for details on where you can buy your copy of "Larger Family Life", the book.


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Large families - what's in a number?

I was having a conversation about something-or-other with my mother-in-law earlier this week when she mentioned something referring to a family with fourteen children.  I asked her whether the number seemed high to her.

"Fourteen?" she asked, as if she was thinking about it for the first time and I explained what I meant.

On Monday it was my birthday.  Ben and Stephanie came over for the day along with my parents and we had all eleven children in the house together.  As we gathered around the table to fill our plates with the selection of food we had set out Mike and I cast our eyes around it and commented to each other on how there still didn't seem to be very many children there.  I have blogged before about family size and how we've experienced the feeling that not everyone is present even when we are all there.  It just doesn't feel like there are that many of us.

As Mike explained it, when you think of 11 children you imagine them to be taking up so much more space, and for things to look far busier and manic than they actually are, like scenes from the Steve Martin film, Cheaper by the Dozen or something.  In truth life is a lot calmer and not as hectic as you'd imagine.

Like I said to my mother-in-law, when we had only four children and watched a programme about a family with fourteen, our reaction back then was, "Wow! Fourteen!" whereas now it doesn't seem such a big deal at all.  I then asked her again that as she's now familiar with us having "so many" ourselves, did she think of fourteen children being a high number.

"No.  I suppose not!" she concluded.

So what do you think?  How many children do you have and how many do you consider to be a lot?  Has this figure changed as your family has grown?  I'd be interested to hear your comments.


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Why we've been wrong to celebrate our twins' arrival

Anna and Elizabeth - 5 days old

The last eight days have had us joyfully celebrating the safe and happy arrival of our baby girls.  We've been on cloud nine, enjoying cuddling them, caring for them, and cherishing them.  We've spent hours marvelling at how tiny yet perfectly formed they are.  Every detail has been taken in, from their tiny fingers and toes to their scrunching of noses when they yawn. The sounds they make and the faces they pull, nothing has been missed and has been closely watched and drunk in by us.  We've spent the last eight days savouring every second of this part of parenting where we are getting to know these two new, precious additions to our family.

We've been overwhelmed and overjoyed.  We've been congratulated and sent cards and gifts and good wishes, yet it came to my attention that we've got it all wrong.

I came across a headline yesterday about how mothers of twins live longer and are stronger according to a study of 59,000 women.  I first read it and thought, "Well, good news for me!".  I then went back and re-read the headline.

"Twice the burden, but mothers of twins live longer and are stronger"

And then I felt annoyed.

Twice the burden? 

Why not something like, "Double the fun" or "Twice as nice"?

Why is it ok to refer to the safe arrival of a new child into the family as a negative thing?  Not only is it ok to refer to a child as a burden, but acceptable to do so?  How many people would have touched on that headline as being offensive or inappropriate?  How many people reading this post would consider me over-sensitive to it and over-reactive?  They're only words, after all.

The problem is that they aren't "only words".  This seems to be the norm nowadays of how children are viewed.  The dictionary definition of the word "burden" is something that is carried (load) or something oppressive or worrisome.   "Burden" is also defined as a dead weight, an imposition, a headache, a concern and a millstone.

Would you console a grieving parent that they are now free of the burden of the child they no longer have?  Or would you pat a couple on the back who have been trying desperately to for years to start the family they so long for and tell them not to worry, at least they won't have such a great millstone around their necks?  Would you read my last two posts and then send me a "With Deepest Sympathy" card and tell me how sorry you are that I am now subjected to a life of affliction?

We don't have a right to have children.  We don't have a right to take them or the ability to have them as an entitlement.  This was all given as a gift to us which we have over time taken for granted.  Then we began to see them as an inconvenience, fitting one or two in if we decide to because, after all, there is so much more out there we could be spending our time and money on, and this slope has now led us to resent the very things we should be appreciating and be grateful of.

The Evening Standard's article isn't the exception by any means.  This is one example of many out there and sadly I feel it is only going to get worse.  The effect of which is that people read headlines like this and don't even question them, which means that it's normal, it's accepted and it's now the view of the majority of society.

So while I go and hold my beautiful newborn daughters and drink in their new baby smell and watch them as they sleep, I will be thinking of all the other crosses in life I could be bearing, and if this is the burden God chose for me to bear then I'll take it gladly and count myself very, very lucky.


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Growing up, not growing old

Every year, or actually several times a year, we carry out a financial overview where we double check our budget, our income and outgoings and make sure we’re getting the most our of our money.  Budgeting should be a must in anybody’s life but with a large family we need to be careful and aware of our finances.

The first twenty or thirty years of my life I believed myself to be invincible.  Well, perhaps not invincible, given the fuss I make over catching a cold, but immortal certainly.  Isn’t that true of most teens and twenty somethings?

By the time I was into my thirties, I started getting a niggling feeling that I might, just might, not be around forever. 

This year, at *coughty-splutter* years old, I thought maybe it was about time to consider my family if anything should happen to me.

Part of this years financial overview was to sit down and work out things like wills and life insurance.  They were things we had been putting off until another day.  There is always tomorrow, after all.  But then, what if there isn’t?  Where would that leave Mike?  Where would it leave our children?  We are a team but what if something happened and half the team wasn’t around any more? 

It didn’t make sense to make sure the car was insured, the house was insured, and everything we owned was insured but we, probably the most valuable things of all, were not.  So we finally sorted ourselves out and for less than the cost of a newspaper and chocolate bar each a day we’ve ensured that should anything happen to us, we’ve put plans into place to help our family should they need it.  It hasn’t broken the bank and it’s given us great peace of mind

It is easy to put something like this off.  It isn’t a nice thing to have to think about and something most of us prefer to ignore.  But it’s quick, easy to do and won’t break the bank.  Isn’t it worth the peace of mind?

(This is a sponsored post)

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