The moment is fleeting

When you have very small children you imagine they will always be very young children.  You can't imagine them walking, talking, growing.

You can try to look into the future and wonder how things will be when they are grown.

You wonder how they will be.

And you always imagine you'll be there, with them, no matter what.

The picture below was taken in 2003.  Harry was probably about six months old.  Ben was ten, Stephanie was nine and Caitlin had just turned four.

2003

They are happy, smiling, young.  They all needed me.

I don't think I stopped for the moment back then.

I took for granted that life would never change. 

That they'd never grow.

I forgot that they would.

The family has changed a lot in the last picture.

The baby in the last picture is the biggest boy in the next one. 

He's growing... fast. 

His younger brothers who didn't even exist are all growing... fast. 

With every new thing they learn, and every new skill they develop I watch them as they get older before my eyes.

It makes me proud when they finally grasp something they've been struggling with. Whether it's crawling or walking or reading or getting through that test they've been dreading.

But with each new development and with each new achievement is the realisation that they're getting bigger.  And older.  And more independent.

And they won't need me like they once did. 

And even though I know that as their mum, that is my job.  My purpose is to teach them the skills they'll need in life.  It's to help them become independent adults who will one day become productive members of society with good morals and great character.  

I know that.

And it's a good thing.

So tell me, why does it make me so sad that the younger ones won't need me then like they do now?

The first picture has changed a lot.  My oldest two children aren't at home.  They're in another county and I don't have a clue what they're doing or how they are most of the time.  I talk with my daughter and my son sometimes texts and that is it.  

They're busy living their lives and finding their feet and working out who they are independent of us.

That is how it is meant to be.

I know that is how it's meant to be.

I should be happy that I've done my part.  I can't do any more than hope that I did a good enough job with raising them and that I've given them the skills and morals they'll need to get through life because the baton has been handed over.  

Much as I would love them to need me now, I know that my role now is to watch them and encourage them from afar and give them the space they need to work out what being an independent adult is really about.  I would do them no favours otherwise.

But I miss the days when they were small and needed me. 

They went so fast.

And going through it twice already hasn't prepared me any better for going through it again, and again....

They'll always be our babies but our children aren't children for long.

It's fleeting.

Cherish it. 

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Bliss

5.30am.

Everybody sleeping but me.

One load of washing hung.

Another load in the machine.

Dishwasher emptied.

Hair done. Make up on. Dressed.

Ready for the day.

Blue sky and sunshine.

Breakfast in the garden.

A moment of silence.

Bliss.



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The great gender reveal

You might be wondering why there is a picture of Paddy at the top of this post.  After all, we know that he is a boy and announcing that a few years after his birth might be a little late.  It's because today Paddy is four years old.  We've got some stuff planned but I can't share it with you until next week. In the meantime I have to say "Happy Birthday, Paddy!", our lovely, lively, cheeky little boy!

Yesterday I mentioned how we have two scans coming up in the next couple of weeks. The first one scheduled for this weekend is what I call the "fun" scan. It's the opportunity to see the twins in 4d. We will be able to see their faces and watch their expressions change and I will be in awe. Well, that's if they're both in a favourable position and showing their faces.

The second scan is scheduled for next week. It is the anomaly scan which goes into great detail for each baby in order to find out if there are any problems. I'm not looking forward to that one. I always worry.

We will have the opportunity during both scans to find out the twins' genders. This is one of the questions we are asked most.

For the first four children we knew the sex of the baby before it was born. After that we chose to opt for a delivery surprise. Apart from when I was pregnant with Oliver, when despite telling the sonographer several times that I didn't want to know the sex of the baby, he still went ahead and told me. That was a fiasco. Then it was made worse by a whole load of worry about Oliver's health throughout the rest of the pregnancy. You can read the whole story here.

We found we preferred not to find out the sex of the baby beforehand.  We like going through pregnancy wondering and guessing.  We look through the old wives tales to try and work out what the baby is and then it's fun seeing the result at the end.  I much prefer the excitement and anticipation in the delivery room and those split seconds between the baby being born and the "It's a....!" announcement.

In a way it would be simpler to find out beforehand.  It will allow us to get organised better regarding clothes. We have a stack of boys clothes in different age ranges from birth to 10 years but nothing for girls at all.  Our youngest girl is turning 12 in a couple of months.  Plus there are two babies.  Even if they are both boys we don't have enough clothes for two boys the same age at once.  And if either or one of the is a girl she's going to have to learn to like blue for a while!

Anyway, we aren't going to find out. Not intentionally anyway.  But what do you do and why?  Do you prefer to know what you are having beforehand or do you prefer a surprise?  If you find out the sex, do you tell everyone or do you keep it between mum and dad and not tell friends or family?



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Twin Pregnancy Diary - 20 weeks 2 days

Twin pregnancy 20 weeks

Pregnancy seems to be made up of many smaller milestones.  The first twelve weeks marks the point of the first countdown where the risk of miscarriage drops so that is normally the first.  Then we wait to show, wait for the kicks, wait to hear the heartbeat.  I don't know what is so significant about reaching the twenty week mark. Possibly because it's the normal halfway mark for a pregnancy, I suppose.  Even though I won't be going past 38 weeks so I am actually past the halfway point. Either way, it seems like another milestone has been reached even though I'm not quite sure why.

No, I never have made much sense.

Anyway. An update.  Night times are starting to get a little more uncomfortable week on week.  I am still wondering whether a pregnancy body pillow is a worthwhile investment to make and if so, which is the best one?  Does anyone have any recommendations?  The heartburn is increasing causing me to need to keep a constant supply of antacid tablets within easy reach and now I'm waking up with the beginnings of carpal tunnel in my hands.  The second half of this pregnancy is going to be interesting to say the least!

My belly continues to feel heavier and I'm feeling more like a galumphing elephant already.  I am not sure how much weight I have gained so far but I'm sure it is quite an amount.  I may check and share it with you.  Then again I may not.  We will see about that.

According to the Babycentre App each baby now weighs approximately 300g and measures more than 16cm from crown to rump.  I am feeling the movements more now and they're getting stronger and more noticeable every day.

This week is one of excitement and apprehension for me.  Excitement because we have a 4d scan booked this weekend.  I am looking forward to that as it was such a magical experience when we had it with Joseph.  We were in awe as he was trying to suck his thumb and while we watched all his facial expressions changing from within the womb.  The apprehension is because we have another anomaly scan coming up next week.  I do not look forward to those and spend the days running up to them getting more and more anxious and worried.  I always fear that the sonographers will find a problem and cannot relax until they give the baby the all clear.  This time, of course, it's double the worry and there are a lot of prayers being sent up at the moment.  I'm sure I can't be the only woman in the world who worries more than probably is necessary about these scans?

And this week's bump picture is at the top of the post.  Do you think there is any change from last week?  What's your verdict?



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The things they say

We had spent a good couple of hours yesterday repeatedly asking the boys to tidy the playroom. The boys had spent a good couple of hours trying to get out of tidying the playroom. Yet another conversation by way of, "It's tidy", "No, it's not tidy at all. Look at that pile of mess over there" ended up with Sid standing at the doorway of the living room with his lips quivering and eyes blinking back tears.

"When the twins are born can we move to a new house straight away?" he asked, struggling not to let his emotions out.

"Why do you want to move straight away when they're born?" I asked.

"Because there is too much stuff to tidy under the shelves!" he wailed tearfully.

So there you have it. The next time housework is getting on top of you and you think you'll never get through the list of chores you have, don't worry! Just put your house up for sale and move to a new clean and tidy one.

Simple!



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It's the (kid) law

1. Kids will not want to play with something until somebody else wants to play with it. Once it is is someone elses possession it is important that they have it and have it right now.

2. Kids can argue over anything. There is no limit to this talent. An elastic band, a fluffball on the carpet or a frozen pea which has freed itself from the freezer and tried hiding under the fridge. Nothing is exempt. (Please note: I do not have stray elastic bands, or fluffballs or stray bits of food on my floors. Sometimes).

3. Kids will not want to converse with you until the telephone rings.  The moment you need to speak with someone else they need to talk to you about something very important. Right now.

4. Kids will not need you for anything until you need to use the bathroom.  As if yelling from the other side of the closed door isn't enough to alert you to the impending alien invasion/nuclear war/travesty at "x" breathing their air or other such emergency, they'll further alert you to the seriousness of the situation by sticking their fingers under the door.

5. Kids have a fashion code all of their own. So what if you don't think a fishing hat and ski pants match? If that ensemble were on the Milan catwalk it would be a hit and selling for thousands. Ask fashion designers how many of them were inspired by holding a workshop where preschoolers were invited to choose their own outfits? My guess, after seeing their creations, is "most of them".

6. Never start a sentence with "How many times do I have to tell you...?".  Kids have no limits.

7. Kids will always tell you they want to be creative... after you've done the tidying and hoovered. It's the law that no room can stay tidy for more then five minutes otherwise it will explode. This is why the scissors, drawing stuff and toys all come out as soon as you've packed away the duster.  Do you notice daily news reports of houses where children reside blowing up after a spring clean? No? That's because kids know it's dangerous and it's the law for them to make sure we are all safe. Now you know.

8. Kids will always come down with a bug or catch a cold a day or two before a holiday or other important event.

9. Buy your child the correct sized clothes and they'll outgrow them in a matter of weeks. Buy them something to grow into and they'll be walking around looking like urchins for months.

10. Kids always look more adorable when they're asleep. That's to make you forget all the tough parts you faced with them today, and look forward to the good bits coming tomorrow.




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Delightfully More-ish Chocolate Chip Cookies

I have tried a lot of chocolate chip cookie recipes over the years trying to find that perfect one.  I don't know that I've found it yet but this recipe comes pretty close.  The quantities given below will make you approximately 50 cookies. You can bake them for around 7 minutes for a soft, chewier cookie or leave them in for a minute or two extra for a crisper one.  If you're wanting to convert from ounces to cups just remember that eight ounces equal one cup.

Ingredients:


16oz butter
16oz caster sugar
4tbs golden syrup
32oz plain (all purpose) flour
2 tbsp baking powder
12 oz chocolate chip


Method: 


Preheat oven to 200°C/400°F/ Gas Mark 6.

Line baking trays with greaseproof paper and grease lightly.

Mix together the butter, caster sugar and golden syrup until creamy.

Add flour, baking powder and chocolate chips.

Combine mixture until the dough comes together well yet remains slightly crumbly.

Create your cookies by bringing together walnut sized balls of dough.  Set out on baking tray leaving adequate space all around.  They will flatten and spread as they bake.

Bake for between 7-9 minutes depending on whether you like a soft, crumbly cookie or prefer a crunchier texture.

When cookies are baked, remove them carefully from the oven and lay flat onto a table set out with greaseproof paper.  Leave until cool otherwise the cookies will squish together as they are still soft when warm.


Enjoy!

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When does a hobby not feel like a hobby?

When it's a chore.

I like to cook. 

But I don't necessarily feel inspired when I have to cook a meal every night, 365 nights a year.  Sometimes I get bored.

I like to read.

But I don't like to read thrillers, romance novels or glossy celeb magazines.

I like to blog.

But it doesn't mean I can always think of stuff worth writing or that you'd want to read.

I like to sew.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that when each boy comes home from Beavers or Cubs with a stack of these...

.... that I want to be sorting through a stack of these...

... and spending the next hour painstakingly trying to get them in the right places on the jumper that they're going to outgrow in a few months.

And when you have six boys in a row who will all at some point be bringing a stack each home, you consider that it might be time to perhaps take up a different hobby.

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