At the weekend Mike took five of the younger children out to the library and the shops with all but the baby accompanying him on his trip. While they were walking around a store getting a few much needed groceries, an older lady stopped to watch them all. Mike said he recognised her face but never knew her to speak to. She carried on about her business, and so did Mike and the kids.
Mike and the children finished up their shopping and as they left the store they noticed the lady waiting outside. She'd waited out in the cold for them to finish in order to speak with them.
"Are they all yours?" she asked Michael.
"Yes" he replied.
"Aren't they so well behaved?! They're lovely!"
Well that alone was enough to make our hearts swell but then she offered him some money in order to treat them!
Michael graciously refused the money from the kind lady despite her insistence but she probably didn't realise how much her words meant to us and to the children, particularly at this time.
The fact that she waited for them, despite the cold temperature just so that she could comment on their behaviour, that they made such an impression upon her that she felt she'd like to treat them was so appreciated by us and a timely reminder that yes, our children are good children. Yes, they are a credit to us. And it gives us hope that Ben will realise that this character which was also instilled in him is still somewhere within him, deep down inside this rebellious "don't care about anyone or anything" attitude that he's adopted.
It reminded us that as parents, yes, we must be doing something right, mustn't we? Because believe me, never have I doubted myself as much in my life as I have done in the last six months. But this kind stranger has unknowingly smoothed over some of the cracks in our lives. She's filled them in and begun the process of repairing our doubts in ourselves, and given us the much needed reminder that we needed that yes, our children do have the right character and morals and values.
Like my wise friend Angela (did you see her comments in the "When parenting goes bad..." post?) pointed out in a chat last week, "Do you realise that you end up talking more about the one child that's giving you problems, rather than remembering and talking about all the children that aren't?". Or words to that effect.
It's so easy to focus on the bad things in life. To spend all your time and energy talking and thinking and dealing with the things that are "wrong" that we forget all the things that are "right". We forget the positives. We forget to be thankful. We find it easier to gripe and grouch and grumble about that stuff we're unhappy with that all the good stuff, all the great stuff gets hidden away. It's overlooked. It's not even acknowledged.
Surely, that's not right?
And it's something I need to work on.
From now.
It does make you feel like you're doing something right when someone goes out of their way to compliment your parenting.
ReplyDeleteWe get comments like that all the time about how well behaved our children are in public - but honestly, they make up for it at home with all their bickering!
That is wonderful! People very rarely comment on the GOOD behavior of people's children and mostly focus on the bad. What a fabulous compliment to have received.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from SITS!
lol@mum-me! I second that! Mine are angels when we're out of the house. When we come home, the arguing starts!
ReplyDeleteI've had so many people compliment my girls on their behavior. I try to do the same, when I see children acting with manners and politeness. There's less parents that teach that, these days, than those who don't. Sad, isn't it?
I love it when people stop us as well- it does mean a lot!!! And we definitely need to focus on the good ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice when people notice good behavior. people are always so ready to judge and criticise when something goes wrong or when a child has a public meltdown. it happens to all of us. But it's so great to see someone paying attention to the good things.
ReplyDeleteAw, that lady was soo sweet to wait for them and pay such a loving compliment! You guys are doing a wonderful job with your kids, you should be proud
ReplyDeleteGod bless her. Those moments are ones to treasure. We've had one..or two?? But aw...they really do help so much. Hang in there, I"m glad you have a good wise friend. She's right, don't only focus on the one who's draining you, look at teh big picture. Hard to do, but important. You're in my prayres.
ReplyDeletewhat a very kind act, what a blessing! A good reminder to hand out kindness to strangers, you never really know what others are going through.
ReplyDeletepraying for you!
So very true- we do tend to concentrate on only the bad or frustrating things...great post and very inspiring!
ReplyDeleteI dont know you so I hope you dont mind if I publicly disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteWe are a family of 6. There have been times when a kind family/person has offered us money for something family related. We usually tell them it's not necessary, but always take it if they insist. It blesses them. You shouldnt turn that down.
Have you ever given someone a treat or money or a gift. It blesses you.
Next time, treat your kids to ice cream.
We have been given a ticket to a game and six flags. We were so blessed and you could tell the person was too. Having a big family is expensive, even if you can afford it.
Back to work. LOL. Hope no offense was taken.
That was very sweet!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to start following your blog. :)